On Four Years of She Spends
Four years ago, She Spends was born. Conceived of on a borrowed couch in a Bed-Stuy apartment, made real with the help of my friends, Jemma Frost and Amanda Eisenberg, the first issue of She Spends was short, pithy, and sent to less than 50 people.
Today, more than 2,100 of you read this newsletter, which has evolved to include long essays, in-depth money diaries, and side projects like zines and fundraisers. I so appreciate you taking the time to peruse this missive each week. Without you, there is no She Spends.
On this anniversary, I wanted to share a bit about what I’ve learned doing this project over the past four years, both personally and professionally.
Capitalism Is Bad, Actually
So when I started She Spends, I had sort of started believing in the power of the free market and all that. I thought the key to solving societal ills was getting more women and minorities in board seats and leadership roles. That was a central tenant of the She Spends newsletter of yesteryear: closing the board seat gap. While of course, that’s still a good thing to be working toward, I now know that companies rarely have the public’s best interest at heart.
A friend told me over the summer that she had noticed how, along with my politics, She Spends evolved. I think a lot of us moved leftward through the Trump years, particularly during the pandemic. And that’s reflected in this space. Writing about one woman winning a seat on Walmart’s board carries little importance and urgency these days. Workers’ rights, a growing minimum wage, and healthcare access for all are so much more pressing.
The money diaries, in particular, reveal some of these struggles. I appreciate everyone who has submitted theirs over the past few years.
When It Comes To Money, We’re All Floundering A Little Bit
In the conversations I’ve had with many of you about money, one theme has rung true: very few people feel like they understand money. The relationship feels dysfunctional, unfair, unwelcoming, or foreign. I know it felt that way for me for a long time too. So many people have told me that they feel intimidated by people who seem to “have it together” financially.
I want you to know that even the highest earners (some of whom work in finance) have work to do with their money. Some overspend, others make poor investment choices. When you have more money and resources, making bad decisions can sometimes be less impactful.
Bigger Isn’t Always Better
When you start building a project, be it a newsletter, website, book, art piece, community, or something else, focus can move very quickly from making something beautiful and reflective of who you are toward audience growth.
The more eyes the better in this creator marketplace. And why would we think differently? The way our society measures its economic success is literally through the growth of our gross domestic product (GDP), which is the market value of all goods and services created in our country.
But a growth-at-all-costs mentality takes away from the quality of work for some people. If I’m focused solely on building this newsletter’s following, I’m not spending as much time as I’d like to on writing. I want my creative energy to go toward writing and helping you, not more clicks or subscriptions or likes on Instagram.
Which Brings Me To… It’s Okay if Social Media Isn’t For You
I’m on the internet a lot. I am on my personal social media accounts a lot, too (@aliciamcelhaney wherever you need to find me boo!). But I logged the heck off of the She Spends Instagram late last summer, and it’s felt really good.
I would log on, check in on other personal finance creators, compare their followings, opportunities, and businesses to She Spends, and then feel completely discouraged. It distracted me from what I want She Spends to be: a newsletter and community for people who want to learn about money through a feminist lens.
I’ve watched time and time again as creators’ personal lives become the obsession of thousands online. Lindsay Ellis’ recent video shows how much that can affect someone on an individual level. It’s not healthy, for any of us.
I… don’t want to deal with that pressure. I love this space, the community, the audience. And what I appreciate most is how respectful you have been. When I make a mistake, you call me in and let me learn. When an audience gets huge, there’s less opportunity for those one-on-one interactions. Things happen on a grander scale, including hurt, and that’s hard to imagine dealing with.
Your Passion Project Doesn’t Have to Become Your 9-5
Okay so, this one has been hard to learn. For a while, I was like, “She Spends is going to be my full-time gig!” But the financials never really lined up and — as I shared above — the work of selling and growing is really challenging, particularly for someone who went to school to be a writer. Candidly, I also deal with mental illness and need that sweet sweet healthcare that comes along with the day job that I’m privileged enough to hold.
Perhaps that’s self-sabotage, but I think it’s the right thing for me to be doing. For me right now, safety and certainty are high priorities, and that’s okay.
We don’t all need to be #girlboss entrepreneurs who quit their jobs and go all in on creative projects. And for many, it’s not even possible: resources like healthcare, initial investments, and financial support from family aren’t available to everyone and are often necessary to the success of these ventures.
Giving Back Feels Good
Like… really good. As time went on, we made “giving back” a key tenant of the She Spends money model. That looks different at different income levels and can include things like volunteering, donating clothing and books, tipping big, supporting artists on Patreon, financially supporting nonprofits, willing your assets to someone with fewer opportunities, the list goes on.
I love hearing about how you have incorporated giving back into your own life, and have embarked on my own giving journey this year. A big focus for me financially is getting to a place where I’m easily giving away 3-5% of my income, then pushing to do more.
More than anything else, I hope that’s what you learn from She Spends. Be generous with your money when you have it. Be generous with your time, if you don’t. And above all, be generous with yourself. It’s okay to not have everything figured out financially: give yourself the grace to accept that and take baby steps toward change.
